ADHD Advocacy: Navigating ADHD Before and After Diagnosis
Published July 13, 2024; Updated Aug. 1, 2024
What if you could thrive as an undiagnosed child with ADHD in a culture that doesn't talk about mental health? What if you could advocate for yourself for an ADHD diagnosis? What if you could advocate for your child with ADHD?
I dove deeper into this question during my interview with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Katherine Ellison in June 2024. She interviewed me on behalf of the non-profit organization Inattentive ADHD Coalition for their FINDtheADHDgirls Podcast.
You can easily watch my 27-minute interview with Ellison on YouTube & read my interview transcript here!
💕 May this message reach the person who needs it most...
Interview Transcript - Navigating ADHD: Katherine Lizardo’s Journey from Diagnosis to Advocacy
Interview by Pulitzer Prize-Winning Journalist Katherine Ellison | July 30, 2024 | FINDtheADHDgirls Podcast
Katherine Ellison
It's great to meet you, Katherine. You're in Plano, Texas, and you are a lawyer. You are on TV. You made an amazing TED talk about ADHD. And you're also coaching?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I do coaching sometimes, but my passion is really public speaking about embracing ADHD and spreading the message about ADHD that there is positive if you play up your strengths and you compensate for your weaknesses.
Katherine Ellison
I love that message. It's so helpful. How did you come to learn it? How did you discover that's the best attitude to understand or accept and to make the most of your ADHD?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Honestly, Katherine, it took a lot of years, fears, and tears. I say that because it's so true.
I was diagnosed as an adult over 20 years ago, and it wasn't even something that I knew about. I did not know anything about ADHD. I did not know ADHD existed when I was diagnosed because, like most women and girls, I was first diagnosed with depression in college. That's when the severe depression really escalated.
I had to see the school counselor. I was at UCLA, and they provided free healthcare for students because I couldn’t afford healthcare. That's where I tried to get whatever healthcare was available. I saw the counselor probably once, because of the limited resources. I was diagnosed with depression. That's all I thought I had, but I couldn't really manage what was going on.
After college, I got a job that had healthcare. I was able to see a psychiatrist. I finally had my health insurance, and that's when I was diagnosed with ADHD. That's where my ADHD journey started, over 20 years ago.
Ever since then, I've been trying to simplify ADHD for myself.
I was born and raised in the Philippines. English is not my first language, Tagalog is. It took me a long time to understand a lot of the complex medical terminology.
There was no Google at that time. I can’t Google terminology. I would read books about ADHD, and I still could not understand the explanation.
For example, executive function. It took me a long time to understand what is executive function. What are they talking about? I just simplify all of that. That's where I find myself now, trying to help girls and women simplify it in a culturally-sensitive manner.
Katherine Ellison
What you just said leads to about 40 questions. I'll start with this one.
When you were growing up in the Philippines because you came here at 16, what was the attitude? Did you feel that you had any kind of odd symptoms, that you were different in any way?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I always felt different. After my diagnosis, like most people, you get “Aha” moment, like a revelation and you start looking back, right? Saying, “Oh, that makes sense now.”
I remember when I was in high school, I would talk to my friends and say, “I really feel different. I feel like I’m from another planet.”
I would use that term, and I feel like an alien.
There was a point where I would think in my head - I won't say it out loud to my friends because I already sound and look weird to them, and I don't have to add to that, right? But I would think in my head: “People are so different.”
I would call others “people,” because I didn’t feel like them. Why are “people” like that? Why are they thinking that way but I’m thinking this way? Why do “people” do it this way and I do it this way?
Katherine Ellison
It sounds like you were a good student. Did you have trouble in school or where did the ADHD actually manifest?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yeah, in the Philippines, it was very structured. I was blessed to be in a private Catholic school that was highly structured. You follow rules and order. And ADHD, as some people know, is really good at following rules when there are structures and short deadlines. I thrived but still, I felt different. I acted differently, and I felt more intensely than my classmates and friends.
Then it became different once I moved to the United States, especially after I graduated from college, because there were more responsibilities. There are more complicated decisions as an adult. That’s when it intensified to where the depression became unmanageable, even with my medication. I realized there had to be something else. That's when I was diagnosed with ADHD.
Katherine Ellison
You were taking medication for your depression?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I was sporadically because, again, I did not have health insurance so I couldn’t afford to see a psychiatrist to prescribe it to me, or even pay for medication, right?
When I was diagnosed, my psychiatrist prescribed ADHD medication. When I took the ADHD medication for the very first time, it was an unforgettable moment.
I felt like I just put on glasses - like reading glasses - and I could see everything.
It felt like someone pressed the slow-motion button on a remote control. Everything was moving so slowly. I still get goosebumps saying that.
It's so unforgettable. I remember thinking, “Oh my God, everyone is moving so slowly. I am moving so slowly. How is this happening?” I couldn’t imagine [it before.]
Katherine Ellison
How old were you when you finally got diagnosed?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I was in my early twenties.
Katherine Ellison
What led to the diagnosis? What were the conditions that led to your psychiatrist thinking that you might have ADHD?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I was going through severe depression. He was a very wise psychiatrist. I was blessed to have him. He was older, way older, in his 80s when I saw him. He was very progressive, right? Most psychiatrists and doctors around that time - this was in early 2000 - were not well versed in ADHD, but he was. Luckily, I found him.
I did not know about ADHD, so I wasn't looking for a psychiatrist who had that background, but he did.
But when I walked into his office, I had that armor, “Okay, I’m just gonna tell my symptoms.” But I was just bawling.
I was struggling so much and I finally was able to tell a professional.
A medical health professional helped me because I couldn't help myself. I've been trying to self-treat in terms of all these coping strategies that have worked for me, but I just hit a wall.
That’s how it felt. I hit a wall, and I don't know what else to do.
Katherine Ellison
Why did you hit that wall? What happened?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I just graduated from UCLA. I had my first job, which was a manager at a big department store. There were a lot of responsibilities. I was overseeing 200 employees. I was managing them and making big decisions, deadlines, sales, interpersonal skills, all of that. I felt like it just “whoosh” to my face, and I could not manage, looking back.
Katherine Ellison
You were overwhelmed.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yes. The overwhelming. That's when he [my psychiatrist] said, “I think you have ADHD.”
I was with him for over 10 years, until he suddenly passed away.
I've been on medication for over 20 years, ever since I was diagnosed.
I've been in therapy once a week for over 21 years. My treatment and medication have been life-changing for me.
Katherine Ellison
That’s so cool that you mentioned in your TED Talk, that you've done this for 21 years. It's so important to get that message out because there's still a stigma around seeing a psychiatrist. We do need extra support, and there's no shame in getting it. I tell my kids, it's the wisest thing you can do to get help for yourself when you need it. So good on you.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Thank you. Yeah, that was an important message when I was writing my TED Talk because coming from my cultural background, mental health is not really talked about, not openly or even at home, privately.
I have relatives who still believe that you only see a psychiatrist if you're crazy, which I know is not true.
That's why I try to be open to them and open to my culture, my fellow countrymen and countrywomen, that I'm going to therapy.
And I'm not crazy.
In fact, I'm a thriving ADHD mom and lawyer. So it works.
Katherine Ellison
That's terrific. I love that you put “Thriving ADHD Mom” in your email signature too, because that’s a huge achievement. Can you tell us about your kids? You've got two boys, right?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yes. I have two wonderful boys. I have a 13-year-old now and a four-year-old, both boys. In my signature line, I also said that they named me “The Best Mom Ever,” which is the best title.
One thing that my psychiatrist told me, and I distinctly remember this, he said, “When you have kids, they will likely have ADHD.” This was in the 2000s when it was not well known that ADHD is hereditary.
I kept that in mind when I had my son. I was highly attuned and highly sensitive to the symptoms, the conditions, and the way of thinking.
I instinctively knew that my son learned differently.
When my husband and I felt that it was appropriate for him to get diagnosed, and the diagnosis was ADHD, we had him see neurologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. All three said he has ADHD.
Katherine Ellison
Do you have inattentive ADHD, combined, or hyper? What is your type of ADHD?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I have combined ADHD. I read your article in ADDitude Magazine about the inattentiveness in girls and women, and I could relate because I’m making mistakes.
That's one of the reasons too why I had to see a psychiatrist. Those clumsy mistakes that we feel like, “Why am I doing that?” Transposing numbers. It's just never-ending, right?
As a lawyer, that was a struggle for me, even with my medication and therapy. This is a lifelong challenge and learning experience.
When I was diagnosed, I didn't just all of a sudden say, “Okay, I embrace ADHD,” right? “I'm who I am right now.” No, not at all. I still struggled.
Only recently, probably in the past four or five years, was I starting to say, “Okay, you know what - I need to love myself, embrace my ADHD, and show self-compassion because that’s what I feel I need right now.”
That pivot in my mindset changed the trajectory of my ADHD journey.
Katherine Ellison
It's a wonderful lesson, and I love the way you're putting it out into the world. There is this very sunny philosophy that says, “Oh, it's a superpower,” and then there's a more gloomy philosophy, which is it’s going to destroy you. It sounds like you have a middle road that it's a thing that has to be managed. But in some conditions, if you understand it, it can be an asset. But the understanding is not easy.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yes, the understanding is not easy, because the research for the past 30, 40 years has drastically changed. What we used to consider as facts are now myths. Unless you're constantly trying to update yourself by reading these scientific articles, you will have myths that you thought were facts.
I’m a geek. I'm a proud nerd. I read these scientific articles. That's why I'm updated, but not everyone has the time or the interest to do that. I try to share that message on social media, meeting people where they’re at, or anyone I talk to, because it's needed.
That updated information is needed. The understanding, like you said is very difficult, and I found the middle road because of that understanding.
When I truly understood ADHD, that's when I was able to say, “Hey, you know what? I will play up my strength and compensate for my weakness.”
When I do that, then I can reach my full potential. I have and I’m still learning as I go.
It’s not always sunny and rosy. When the ADHD symptoms kick in really badly, then I try to remember these things and remind myself: “Compensate for your weakness, compensate for your weakness.”
Katherine Ellison
When you look at your son, and you see this young male manifestation of ADHD, do you feel that as a woman, you're very different from the way you express it?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
For him, it was the typical ADHD boy that people expected where he’s always hyper, running around, jumping everywhere, and it was more not accepted, but almost expected, right? Yeah, that's a typical ADHD boy.
For me, I was very boyish when I was young. And boyish in a very conservative culture is not really that well looked at.
I got into a lot of accidents, major accidents, some could have been even catastrophic. I could have died in some of the accidents that came with the impulsivity.
I was also inattentive because I’m combined, where I would make these mistakes. I was always daydreaming. I could just stand still all of a sudden. My eyes are open, but it’s like nothing’s there because I’m all in my head.
Katherine Ellison
No, I know that feeling.
One of the things that the Inattentive ADHD Coalition really recommends is that kids get screened as early as seven years old. Do you ever think about how your life would be different if you had gotten that kind of intervention at that age?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
All the time. When I was diagnosed, I thought about that, especially the first time I took my medication. What I distinctly remember was thinking, “How much information of my life did I miss?”
I did not have medication, or I did not have support. I can't get that back. I just have to move forward. It is what it is.
That's why, when I had my son, I wanted to change that for him by being in tune with his needs. If he did not have ADHD, obviously, I’d be fine with that as well. Obviously, I’m fine that he's with ADHD as well. We both embrace it. The family embraces it.
My four-year-old, right? We're watching how he learns differently. Whatever his diagnosis would be, I’ll embrace that as well. It's trying to really understand that each of us learns differently, and it's okay.
Katherine Ellison
Yeah, everybody’s got something. I think that one advantage of having ADHD is that there are so many resources and so many wonderful pioneers like yourself who you can tune into and learn from. Thank you for doing the work that you're doing.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I really love the mission of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition which is to promote girls being tested around the age of seven. It aligns greatly with my vision as well, because I try to advocate for early diagnosis.
Late diagnosis for girls and women, and even boys, really significantly adversely impact their social skills, mental health, and emotional health.
If we can catch these conditions early on and treat them, that’s a great thing. They can have the tools and resources they need so they don't have to suffer like I did growing up before I was diagnosed.
Even after my diagnosis, because of the very limited research on ADHD, I still suffered.
I’m also an advocate not just for getting any child, especially girls, tested early, but when a child is tested, for the family to be screened as well.
We know for a fact now that ADHD is hereditary. It's in our genes. The largest genome study for ADHD happened early last year in January of 2023. They identified 27 genes for ADHD, and they anticipate 72, 000 genes that they will identify by the end of their research. Imagine that!
So if a child has ADHD - if the entire family gets screened - both the mom, and dad, and the siblings, then we can identify who else has ADHD if any. If not, that's fine.
But if there is someone else, especially the parents, then the medication and therapy can be a family healing.
Sometimes parents feel shame and stigma for their child.
Or even siblings feel shame and stigma for their [ADHD sibling].
Being a mental health advocate, I've heard those sad stories where the parents might be supportive, but their siblings are the ones putting them down. It's very heartbreaking when ADHD is not well known.
An early diagnosis is critical for the child and the entire family.
Katherine Ellison
At what age did you first experience depression?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I cannot pinpoint, but I know even in the Philippines, I was feeling depressed. In addition, I feel different from other people, as if I’m an alien from another planet. I would cry a lot at night, and in isolation. I just felt differently.
The emotional dysregulation among girls and women really needs to be researched further, because that's a part of ADHD that hasn't been looked at.
[The focus is] more on the executive function, but the emotional dysregulation was the strongest and hardest to manage. I didn’t know how to deal with that and medication helped greatly.
Trying to say that it's all in your mind was not working.
I was even telling me, “It's all in your mind. Get over it.”
It was a detrimental message because it made me feel like a failure because I couldn't overcome that in my mind. My mind needed something more. It needed medication.
Remember, Dr. Russell Barkley had an analogy that ADHD is like diabetes. If you have diabetes, then you need insulin for your pancreas. You're not going to say to someone diabetic, “Get over it. It’s all in your mind.”
ADHD, it's in our brain, and it needs some of this dopamine, some of these neurotransmitters. There's nothing that I could do or say to my mind to overcome that, but the medication helps.
If people think of it that way, that might make sense more to be okay with medication.
Katherine Ellison
There's a psychopharmacological Calvinism that describes the attitude that you ought to have. What's wrong with you that you can’t fix yourself, right? Yeah.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Exactly.
Cynthia Hammer (founder of Inattentive ADHD Coalition)
The other thing we're learning is that neuroplasticity is there more when you’re a child. It’s harder when you get older. If you're on medication, you're creating more healthy pathways in your brain because you're practicing these new behaviors from an earlier age in life.
Katherine Ellison
It doesn’t unfortunately have that miraculous effect on everybody, but for the people that it does, it's so important not to be stigmatized.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
That's a very important message to say out there as well. Medication does not affect every ADHD person the same way.
How I felt might not be how another ADHD person would feel when they take medication.
Luckily, now there are a lot of different medications - stimulants and non-stimulants.
When I was diagnosed, it was only stimulant medications. There was more stigma about that.
The myth that if I was on stimulants, that I’m a drug addict, was very difficult to overcome among my family members and my peers, to say, “No, I’m not. I just really need this for myself.”
It's not because I want an unfair advantage at school or in life.
I experienced a lot of discrimination in school, even in law school for my ADHD, and had to overcome all of that during my journey.
Katherine Ellison
How do you divide your time? You're doing so many big things.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I’m shifting my focus to being an advocate for ADHD.
When I started my business ADHD Life Simplified, my mission-driven company a year ago, it was not something I planned. It had a life of its own.
When I moved to Texas with my family, I was building my law firm. I had my personal injury law firm in California. When we moved here two years ago, I was still building that. That was my focus and being on TV for Law & Crime Trial Network, that’s what I was doing.
Somehow, something happened, and the message about ADHD had a life of its own.
When I was on the Law & Crime Trial Network, I would get messages from people in other countries like China, India, and Russia, asking me, “You’re a lawyer and you have ADHD? How do you do that?”
That's when I started thinking, “There are so many people who think that they cannot achieve their full potential.” I started being more open about it.
And then, I was able to deliver my TEDx Talk about ADHD. From there, the positive message has a life of its own. I'm following that.
It's all about the message. It's not about me.
If I can help more people who used to be in my position and not have to experience that pain and disappointment, if I can help one person, then I’ve lived my life.
Katherine Ellison
I think you will help many, more than one person. Thank you so much for this. It's just been wonderful.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Thank you for having me.
Cynthia Hammer
Thank you, Katherine. Thank you.
Katherine Ellison
Thank you, Cynthia.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yes. Actually, Katherine and Cynthia, there is something that I'm focusing on now.
I think the menstrual cycle, perimenopause, menopause, and drastic hormonal changes are contributing to a lot of ADHD girls and women having difficulty with their ADHD symptoms. This one is more of a scientific hormonal issue that is severely under researched.
There are a lot of anecdotes right now from ADHD women monitoring their menstrual cycle and their ADHD symptoms. I'm trying to do that for myself too.
I'm finding there's a direct correlation. And I have to adjust my medication when it's around my menstrual cycle.
Katherine Ellison
Interesting. Wow.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
I have started an online community for moms with ADHD so I can talk to them in-depth and connect with them deeper.
That's where I coach people. I call it the ADHD Simplifiers.
It's powered by my mission-driven company, ADHD Life Simplified.
Moms with ADHD join there so I can teach them how to find peace and confidence when they feel frustrated and they can’t reach their full potential. That's where I coach them.
Katherine Ellison
That’s terrific. Can I order the T-shirt on your site?
🌱Katherine Lizardo
My sister-in-law made this for me.
Katherine Ellison
I love it!
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yeah, and people are asking about it. That’s my logo for ADHD Life Simplified.
I have been thinking of selling my shirt because I went to an event where I was advocating for my company, ADHD Life Simplified. I had my shirt. I had this sticker everywhere. Basically, everything about me says, ADHD. It actually permitted other people to talk to me about their ADHD.
People were coming up talking about their son, their personal story. They started crying because, for the first time, someone was listening to them.
And I thought, “You know what? I should wear this everywhere and say, ‘If you wear this, you have permission to talk to me. I'm a safe person to talk to.’”
What if I start selling this? And say, “Anyone who wears this means you’re a safe person to talk to.”
Katherine Ellison
Let me know when you do.
Cynthia Hammer
I think that's a really powerful idea. If we got people to wear those T-shirts, it's like the gay people saying, “There’s more of us than you think.” Those of us who were comfortable wearing the t-shirt would start making it more visible.
Katherine Ellison
I love the green.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yes, the green. Mental Health Awareness Month is in May. We’re supposed to wear green.
Cynthia Hammer
Yeah, if you start selling those shirts, I would promote them.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Oh, thank you. It’s time everyone talks about it.
Katherine Ellison
There are a lot of people talking about it, but there still is the stigma, I agree.
🌱Katherine Lizardo
Yeah. It’s finding the safe person to talk to. That’s what’s difficult to identify.
I don't know how I'm gonna mass produce [this shirt], but I will figure it out.
Thank you so much, both of you.
Cynthia Hammer
Yeah. You too.
🌱Katherine Lizardo, Katherine Ellison, Cynthia Hammer
Bye-bye.
👉Your Journal Prompt:
How did you feel about your ADHD symptoms before your diagnosis?
I invite you to share in the comments below. Your words might change someone’s life.
I appreciate you, 🙏
~ Katherine
P.S. For sources and in-depth discussion on this and similar topics, click to connect with me here: ADHD Simplifiers Community.
Thriving After ADHD Diagnosis: Next Steps
Katherine Lizardo: “Anyone who wears this logo or shirt means you’re a safe person to talk to.”
👉 Read Next: 6 Famous Women Thriving After Their ADHD Diagnosis
