5 Little-Known Ways To Manage And Simplify Your ADHD Life
Managing and simplifying your ADHD life can be overwhelming. I’ve been working on this for several years since my diagnosis in 2002, and I call myself an ADHD Simplifier.
For over two decades, I’ve read and tried many research, tips, tools, and strategies that have changed over time about ADHD. Social media like Facebook wasn’t even launched when I was diagnosed! Finding resources, strategies, and support groups was challenging then.
Now, try typing “ADHD” online, and you’ll get unlimited search results. The massive amount of information can be confusing and overwhelming.
That’s why it’s vital for people with ADHD to learn how to be an ADHD Simplifier so you, too, can manage and simplify your lives. How do you exactly do that?
In this blog, I will share practical strategies for managing and simplifying your ADHD life that I used to become a thriving ADHD Mom, inspirational speaker, and seasoned lawyer.
WHAT DOES MANAGING YOUR ADHD MEAN?
An important first step after you've been diagnosed with ADHD, especially adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (meaning diagnosed as an adult, like me), is managing your ADHD symptoms. Seems common sense, right? But common sense is not that common.
“For me, managing your ADHD means embracing your ADHD.” ~ Katherine Lizardo, Esq.
Many recently diagnosed ADHD adults believe that they have to overcome their ADHD. I made this same mistake when I was initially diagnosed. I incorrectly approached my ADHD struggle like any other ordinary problem: something I must overcome to move on.
But ADHD is unlike “any other ordinary problem.” It’s not even a problem. I consider it a trait. While I have an ADHD diagnosis, the important thing is I don't let it become a label that defines me. Instead, ADHD is one of the many traits that make up ME!
Yes, I have unique challenges in my everyday life because of my ADHD mind. Symptoms of ADHD creep up in different ways. It's never the same, making it inconvenient and frustrating. And the next time my adult ADHD shows up unexpectedly, neurotypical people (meaning people without ADHD or other neurodiversity) think I'm weird. This is a common effect of ADHD - mine, at least. I don’t mind because I know that “weird is the side effect of being awesome!"
When you change your mindset from trying to overcome your ADHD to embracing it, managing your ADHD becomes easier and second nature. That’s because you won’t be fighting with your ADHD brain anymore. Instead, you’ll be working WITH your ADHD to play up your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses. You will thrive with your ADHD, not despite it!
MANAGE OR NOT MANAGE YOUR ADHD?
If you’re debating if you must manage your ADHD, here are some examples of what happens when you manage or not manage your ADHD.
Examples of what happens when you don’t manage your ADHD:
You continue to feel unmotivated at work.
You sought a diagnosis for a reason - likely because you felt there was “something wrong,” but you didn’t know what. After you were tested by a trained medical professional who diagnosed you with ADHD, you finally have an explanation for your feelings. Then, you leave the doctor’s office and continue your life as if nothing happened. You don’t try to learn about ADHD, its treatment, or tools to help you manage it. Your ADHD symptoms persist and even get worse as you get older.
Your work life continues to feel overwhelming. You struggle with seemingly manageable steps to complete important documents at work that you find boring. So you change your job, hoping the next one will be better. But you have a hard time at your new job again. You still can't prioritize, and the most important tasks for the job are missed.
Your boss keeps telling you to learn time management, but you have no idea where to begin. You feel hopeless and unmotivated with your career. You wonder if you will ever reach your full potential.
Your relationships continue to suffer.
You continue impulsively blurting out hurtful words when you’re angry at a family member without thinking about the consequences. Your loved ones keep reminding you of the specific time for your child's performance at school, but you always miss the important moments of your child's events as you walk into the event tardy.
Your home life continues to struggle. Your friends and family think you don’t care about them because you forget birthdays, graduations, and special occasions. Your friends would tell you you're overly sensitive to their words and actions. Your reactions are exaggerated and often seen by others as inappropriate. So you start thinking you’re socially awkward and not a good friend.
You develop low self-esteem.
Different people keep telling you that you're doing things the wrong way. You start believing their negative shaming words, such as "you’re lazy, don’t care, or can’t be anything someday." You feel it’s all your fault. You want to be better, but your lack of focus affects even your long-term plans for self-development. You feel you have a long way to improving your daily life.
Examples of what happens when you do manage your ADHD:
You realize it’s not your fault.
By learning how to manage your ADHD, you start realizing that your words, actions, thoughts, and feelings are related to your ADHD symptoms. It’s not an excuse but an explanation. You seek out a healthcare provider for treatment options. You start understanding the unique needs of your ADHD brain compared to neurotypical brains. You discover effective treatments your mental health professional recommended. You start learning practical organizational skills, daily routines, and healthy habits for your specific needs (after all, each ADHD brain is different).
You advocate for yourself.
You become aware that certain accommodations at work and school are available for people with learning differences, like ADHD. After learning about available accommodations for you, you talk to your boss to determine how to minimize your ADHD symptoms and how to reach your potential at work. You work with your employer to brainstorm great tools that neurotypical and neurodivergent workers can use to increase productivity and revenue.
You develop meaningful relationships.
Because you know how your ADHD symptoms show up, you also learn what you can do to manage them. You learn what to avoid and not avoid. You take deep breaths when you experience emotional dysregulation - a term you didn't even know existed until you started managing your ADHD. You start communicating better with your loved ones as you develop impulse control. You embrace the smaller steps you must take for the best way to track your time to complete daily tasks.
You finally feel understood and seen.
As you learn more about your ADHD, you start sharing what you know with your friends and family members. They, too, start to understand your ADHD. You start feeling seen by them as who you really are. You realize that one of your most important tasks is to manage your ADHD. You're getting enough sleep knowing that your family, work, and relationship with yourself have improved dramatically. You're delighted to know the next steps in your ADHD journey!
After reading what you can expect from managing and not managing your ADHD, here's something to think about:
"People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of making the change." ~ Anonymous
Here’s a good prompt for self-reflection:
What’s your pain level? Is your pain of not managing your ADHD greater than the pain of making the change to manage your ADHD? Only you can answer this.
Illustration by the talented Stone Bone
THE S.M.A.R.T. WAY:
As an ADHD Simplifier for over two decades, I’ve used 5 vital ways to manage and simplify my ADHD life. I call it - the S.M.A.R.T. Way. Let’s talk about each of them.
S - Selective Research
This is different from typical research. I call this selective research to avoid getting lost in the cyber black hole of research. So, before researching online or any digital platform, remind yourself: "Do Selective Research only." What does that mean?
Earlier, I talked about how a mountain of information now exists online about ADHD. How do you know who's reliable? How do you know which are facts and which are based on long-held myths? That's where you intentionally choose to do your research only on credible websites or platforms instead of clicking on everything that shows up on your search results.
Selective research is choosing your ADHD research from credible, trusted websites and sources. These resources ensure a higher chance of finding reliable and scientific facts about ADHD. They already have their own mountain of information to keep you engaged for days. At least you know you are absorbing good information.
M - Monitor Updates
In the last 30 years, ADHD research and law have changed drastically. Here are just some examples. Few people call ADHD by its old name - "attention deficit disorder" (ADD). ADHD medication is not limited to stimulant medication like before. Cognitive behavioral therapy is more accepted. The prefrontal cortex is now at the forefront of ADHD studies (see what I did there? LOL!).
That's why continuing to monitor updates with your selective research gives you a deeper understanding of ADHD. You'll be surprised at what you think you know about ADHD actually no longer applies today. I was surprised myself! So, I eagerly continue to read about updated scientific research on ADHD and share them on my website with you. I’m a proud nerd! :)
A - Advocate For Your Rights
As a lawyer and mental health advocate, I promote self-advocacy. I strongly believe that mental health is your fundamental human right. Here are some examples of self-advocacy. I advocated for myself to get extra time in law school to level the playing field with my school performance compared with other law students. I advocated with my health insurance to provide me with professional help because I needed emotional support for my depression and ADHD.
People with ADHD tend to think that their experience is a common challenge for others as well, making ADHDers less willing to speak up for what may help with their daily routine. ADHD people don't know the difference because they've been living with their symptoms all their lives. I felt similarly.
But, your selective research will reveal that you must have the right tools to support your unique executive function. (If you're unfamiliar with the term "executive function," it's a good term to start your selective research. Try it!)
And to access powerful tools available to you, you must ask for them. You must advocate for yourself. I know it's hard. That's where the next 2 ways can help to practice and learn self-advocacy.
R - Reach Out to Like-Minded Communities
I was born before Google. I was diagnosed before social media. Access to like-minded people or communities didn't exist when I started my ADHD journey. Trying to talk about ADHD in a culture filled with mental health stigma and shame made it impossible to find people with ADHD in real life.
As the cliché goes, times have changed.
When looking for the right community for you, whether online or in real life, seek a community with positive, non-judgmental, supportive, like-minded members. Their positive energy will accelerate your ADHD journey to the right path.
T - Team Up With Compatible Support Systems
You’ll hear me say many times that managing and simplifying my ADHD took a lot of years, tears, and fears. I've openly admitted in my TEDx Talk about ADHD that I've been seeking support from different healthcare providers and diligently going to behavior therapy once a week for 21 years. While my most important task was to help myself, I couldn't do it alone. I needed a support system for the ups and downs of my ADHD journey.
A support system is a group of people with effective tools that will be there for you during difficult times of your ADHD symptoms, without judgment, and with support and positivity.
Your support system can include your family, kids, spouse, partner, sibling, friend, therapist, psychiatrist, behavioral coach, professional organizer, grocery delivery service from smartphone apps, members of your team sports, ADHD community, and even trained responders from the Life Crisis Hotline when calling, chatting, or texting 988. Many more exist.
I recognize not all of these resources are available to everyone. After my diagnosis, I only had access to a psychiatrist and a therapist, and only after I qualified for health insurance from my first full-time job.
If you can access any or all of these support systems, it's vital that you find one that is compatible with you. I've changed psychiatrists for the last 20 years because of personality differences. I’ve changed therapists because I prefer kind words instead of tough love. I kept changing mental health providers until I found someone compatible, and it was okay. By the way, this is another way you practice self-advocacy!
TIPS TO GET STARTED:
Here are some tips to get started in managing and simplifying your ADHD life using the S.M.A.R.T. Way we talked about.
Block Time. When researching, block time to do this. A digital planner or paper planner with your smartphone app timer can help you block and track time. Try setting 30 minutes on your timer to work on your selective research.
Color Code. Use color-coded highlighters, pens, or post-its to remind you of action items to complete to reach out to like-minded communities. Break up the big actions into smaller steps. Externalizing information using color coding is helpful for ADHD brains.
Trusted Resources: You can practice selective research by checking out this list of my favorite trusted sources on ADHD:
ADDitude Magazine - www.additudemag.com
Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) - www.chadd.org
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) - www.nimh.nih.gov
Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D. - www.russellbarkley.org
CLOSING REFLECTIONS:
Become a thriving person with ADHD is possible more than ever! Your resources, tools, and support systems are abundant with our changing times and technology.
I also invite you to check out our ADHD Simplifier community, where you can access simplified, updated information, tools, tips, and resources about ADHD. It’s also a great way to connect with like-minded people with ADHD.
You can manage and simplify your ADHD life. I’m cheering for you!
Which of the 5 S.M.A.R.T ways will you use today?
P.S. For sources and in-depth discussion on this and similar topics, click to connect here: ADHD Simplifiers Community.
